


A moment of weakness, before the end.

by Reibunriinta



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic, The Adventures of Sinbad (TV)
Genre: Angst, Ja'far's mom - Freeform, Minor Character Death Mention, RIP, Suffering, apparently, cannot be happy, i cry, long ass title bc reasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 12:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8713243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reibunriinta/pseuds/Reibunriinta
Summary: Jahduh has never been a very good mother, and she knows this, and she's been anything but affectionate towards Ja'far. But knowing she is going to die that night, she decides to make an exception, for her own sake if not for his.





	

When Jahduh awoke that morning, knowing it was her last day to live, she felt strangely ready. She wasn’t stupid, and she’d been spying when she could, so she knew that Sham Lash had finally taken notice of Ja’far’s talent. She knew that today they’d make him kill her and his father. 

 

Strangely, she just felt numb about it. She’d suffered about as much pain as there was, or she thought so anyway, death couldn’t be that much worse could it? She’d find out soon enough. 

 

No, her concern wasn’t about herself so much about Ja’far. He didn’t deserve this. Despite being stuck with a scoundrel like her for a mother, and against all odds, he managed to be so innocent still. She’d tried so hard not to allow him to get attached to her, and strangely enough pushing him away for six years had killed her on the inside. 

 

She’d wanted to make this work. To keep him as weak as possible, and keep Sham Lash from noticing him, until she could find a way out. She’d held onto that hope all these years, for his sake if not for her own. She wanted to be able to take him home, to her real home, the one place she knew of where he could have grown up safe and happy. 

 

Instead she’d managed to ruin everything, to be the worst mother she ever could have been, and now she’d failed to save him from the life she’d been forced to lead. 

 

And now she was too weak hearted to stop herself from doing something that would likely be cruel and selfish; allow herself to show affection to him.

 

She hadn’t meant to. After all, if he knew there was any part of her that loved him, it’d make it that much harder to kill her later, and doing that to him would be terrible. But she loved him. She just couldn’t help it. 

 

Looking over at his sleeping figure, she scooted over to him, and gently pulled him onto her lap. He stirred a bit, but didn’t wake up. She sighed softly, feeling a bit better just having him in her arms, and planted a small kiss atop his head. 

 

Closing her eyes a moment, she tried to imagine they were someplace else. That’s right, they were back home. Her real home, that lovely village she’d longed for all these years. The sun was shining, the birds chirping, and the village’s children, likely Ja’far’s friends, were playing in the snow. The sad thing was, that for a moment she actually believed it. 

 

Then reality came crashing back in, burning down her momentary oasis, and reminding her of her sins. Opening her eyes she looked down at the many scars that decorated her skin, and then to her child. Would he too, end up like this? Jaded, warped, and bitter, clinging to a single false hope until the very end? Was there really no way she could save him? 

 

She wanted to cry but no tears came. Instead she just sighed and ran her fingers through Ja’far’s dusty hair. “Hey Ja’far” she whispered softly, not wanting to wake him. “Remember when I said I’d protect you...I...I failed…” she sighed, feeling tears starting to form but forcing them away. “And you’re going to have a really awful day today...a...and a terrible life after that. A...and I want you to blame me alright? For all of this...I...I did this to you...I’m an awful person...but…” she paused to draw in a breath, desperately trying to hold in her tears. “All those times I was cruel...or said I didn’t care about you...I...I didn’t mean them.” She was crying softly now, holding Ja’far close as her last source of comfort. 

 

“The truth is that I love you so much it hurts...and...all those times I...I wanted so badly to have the chance to be kind to you...but I was too weak...I’m sorry.” She cried. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Choking back sobs, and afraid to wake him; she wiped her tears away, closed her eyes, and cuddled him. She had less than twenty four hours to live, and she planned on spending as much of it as she could happily. She had no hope for herself now, but she was too weak not to cling to something, and she had one remaining sliver of hope. Once she was gone, and Ja’far was stronger and older, just maybe, her precious child would escape.


End file.
